Clinton Ahead, Plans to Come From Behind

Clinton said she was modeling her campaign for the Democratic nomination for president on the Giants’ last-minute, 17-14 victory over the undefeated New England Patriots.

“I took a lot of heart from that, Dave,” said Clinton, who is neck-and-neck in many polls with rival Barack Obama on the eve of the 22-state nomination contest. “The fourth quarter before Super Tuesday, you’ve got to keep going.”

That’s such a phony narrative. How can anyone believe the “come from behind” story she keeps selling? It’s so strange for the front runner to keep insisting they’re the underdog. I would say the level of phoniness is unprecedented in this campaign, but then again there’s always Mitt Romney (or more obscurely, Ron Paul).

—Mark Elliot Cullen 1 Comment

Slaughterhouse Workers Suffering From Neurological Disease

This reminds me of an X-Files episode called “Our Town” to an uncanny degree. The plot takes place in the small city of Dudley, Arkansas, home to Chaco Chicken’s factory farm headquarters, where a rare and incurable neurological disease, called Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, is plaguing some of the people in the town, and particularly the workers at the chicken slaughterhouse. As it turns out, the entire community is in a cult that has been practicing ritualized cannibalism, lead by the owner of Chaco Chicken. He apparently learned of a technique to live forever by consuming human flesh from a native tribe when his plane crashed during World War II in a remote jungle. The partially consumed corpses were being fed to the chickens, the rest were being dumped in a bloody river where all of the spare chicken parts go after they’re stripped.

—Bryan Klausmeyer

Arrested Development Movie

Now that George Michael is such a star, I’m sure he’ll get top billing.

Kristin Dos Santos from E! Online confirms that the cast members were asked by the show’s producers if they would be willing to star in the motion picture. AD’s leading man, Jason Bateman, confirmed to the gossip columnist that preliminary talks had begun. Elsewhere, Jeffrey Tambor admitted on the Ron and Fez Show on XM Radio that he was approached by Ron Howard to see if he was willing to reprise his role(s).

—Mark Elliot Cullen 1 Comment

The Pentagon’s Biggest Budget Since World War II

The Times:

When the Pentagon on Monday unveils its proposed 2009 budget of $515.4 billion, annual military spending, when adjusted for inflation, will have reached its highest level since World War II.

This seems fair to me. Winning the war on terror and defending our homeland are obviously more important than national healthcare or equal access to non-crippled public education. But, jeez, social security is really in trouble, we just don’t have the money to continue that kind of ridiculous spending, what with all of the “welfare queens” (a.k.a. single black women with children) living off of the hard-earned paychecks of lavishly paid CEOs.

—Bryan Klausmeyer