New Karl Pilkington Book on the Way

If you haven’t heard the Ricky Gervais Show podcasts, you may not know who Karl Pilkington is, but you should as he’s one of the most amazing men on earth. There is no brain like his. His last book, The World According to Karl Pilkington, was basically just transcripts from the podcast with some drawings, and that alone was amazing, so I have high hopes for his next book, which is a travel guide apparently.

If you don’t know Karl Pilkington, here are some reasons you should:

His Past

He remembers receiving a computer for Christmas at about the age of 8, he wanted a ZX Spectrum, but was given the inferior ZX81. He tried to play a game, but was thwarted by the absence of a required accessory. He recalls that he vomited due to stress of the situation; one of the factors he attributes towards his baldness.

Karl’s neighbourhood contained other strange and eccentric personalities, such as a woman who rode around on a tricycle with her husband sitting in a basket attached to the end of it; a family who kept a horse in their front room; an elderly witch with a penchant for dishwashers and a woman who pushed a pram around with a bucket that had a face drawn on it, instead of a real baby.

He once claimed that he was given an award for attendance and speculates that this award was merely invented by his teachers to try and persuade him to spend more time at school. He also claimed that his teachers never once said “Well done” to him and that, on parents evening, his parents were informed by one of his teachers that he “Will never be a high flyer”.

His Philosophy

“We came from the sea originally, now we’re going back in it. Don’t go in it, unless you’re in a boat.”

On dopplegangers - “How would I know which one I was?”

“They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn’t anything else drown it out at the time?”

“The world is getting more and more scruffier, innit?”

Advice for chameleons - “Stay green. Stay in the woods. Stay safe.”

“Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don’t know if I’m in charge of mine.”

His Unexplainable Entertainment Value

His Poetry

Me Belly-Ache

For god’s sake, me belly-ache
The doctor said it’s me kidney
He said he’s got to stick a tube up me knob
I said you’ve gotta be kidding me
For god’s sake, knob-ache.

Me Ward

Me, a Chinese fella, and an old bloke
who looked like Mr. Burns from ‘The Simpsons’
Don’t know what was wrong with im
but brakin’ wind was the symptoms
No one visited him or called him; he seemed quite lost to me
As well as wind problems, he had a colostom
When I left, I said ‘See ya’ to the old man
Turns out the other fellow wasn’t Chinese, he was from Japan.

Jellyfish

It would be spiteful to put jellyfish in a trifle.