Plagiarists Are Stupid, Throw Rocks At Them.

So, INTERNET.

Yeah, the Internet is pretty sweet. An endless supply of content (re: PORN) for every poor bastard on this pale blue dot, right at my fingertips, for moderate monthly fees. Possibly right up there with the Hot Pocket in terms of human achievement. There’s no doubt that it’s certainly responsible for the rise in the creative forces on the earth, from the blogosphere, to the youtube, there are many great and… not so great artists out there. I can’t really identify a point in history where this many people from any walk of life were able to create and display this much art. Too bad the Internet is also the perfect place to steal art from.

The most recent case of theft happened to cartoonist Dave “Shmorky” Kelly, creator of webcomics Purple Pussy, Living in Greytown, and the animated series The Flash Tub. In 2001, Kelly created the image above, a squirrel character saying her bedtime prayers. It most recently appeared in a Los Angeles art gallery, re-colored and credited to artist and t-shirt maker Todd “Goliath” Goldman.

Long story short, the internet went nuts. Cartoonists voiced their outrage, goons swore oaths of violence and provided legal advice, angry emails were sent. A few local papers picked up on the story. Goldman then issued a statement. Well, first he called Kelly a child molester and sent some minors emails filled with porn, but then his publicist made this statement:

CLEARWATER, FL, April 11, 2007—Popular post pop-artist, Todd Goldman who has made a career of making fun of the world with his sarcastic commentary and cartoon icons, has mistakenly used the design of an another artist in two of his recent paintings. Todd’s painting, “Dear God, Please Make Everyone Die,” was inspired from a drawing he received unbeknownst to him belonging to an underground web comic artist David “Shmorky” Kelly.



In addition to painting, Todd designs t-shirts for his clothing company, David & Goliath. Todd and his design team create and receive thousands of design ideas every month. It’s no secret that Goldman creates a lot of his painting ideas from his t-shirt designs. Goldman says “I made a judgment error and didn’t research the background of this particular submission. “My intention was not to copy Mr. Kelly. I have never seen his work before and would never intentionally knock-off someone else’s idea.”



Goldman has issued a formal apology to Mr. Kelly and has stated that he will not be using his design again in the future. As a gesture of good faith, Goldman has pledged not profit from his mistake. He will instead donate his proceeds from the painting directly to Mr. Kelly or his charity of choice.

And this is will be the end of it. This is as far as internet justice gets you. Goldman halfheartedly apologizes and says someone sent the design anonymously. Anyone who’s ever gotten an email knows that’s bullshit! You get a return address right there! Sure there are anonymous email services out there, but you’re telling me someone would go through all that effort to get Shmorky’s art stolen? It’d be a hell of a lot easier just to have his house looted through Craig’s list.

The only way to prove that that email submission exists or doesn’t exist would be to hire a lawyer and subpoena for it. Though of course, that’s not always a guarantee… But regardless, Shmorky can’t do that. He’s just a starving artist; he doesn’t have that kind of money. I’ve seen this a lot, Ebaum does it all the time. Rapper Timbaland who is going on tour with Justin Timberlake is also accused of it. This is how David gets his ass whooped by Goliath. If the guy you steal from can’t get a lawyer, you can either completely ignore his accusations, or say that an anonymous source gave you the content. You didn’t know! Honest!

It sucks, but hey, at least he can sell t-shirts now. Maybe one day he’ll be as accomplished as Goldman and can rip someone off himself!

Watch this! It was on SNL! I laughed!

If you don’t get it, the short is parodying the end of the second season of The O.C., as shown below.

Best goddamn show on TV. Should have kept Mischa Barton, could have gone on for another three years at least.

Heh. I just realized I stole the title of this article from a bunch of other people’s articles on this subject. Whoops! I mean the titles were submitted to me anonymously! I didn’t know I was stealing!

End Transmission.