Dolphins Destroying The Nation, One Fin At A Time

Dolphins.

They’re everywhere: in our tuna, on footballs, TV, videogames. It’s no surprise that they’re now taking over the last bastion of anti-dolphin defense: the Navy.

According to a recent CNN article, Dolphins may protect the nation, one fin at a time, “dozens of dolphins and sea lions trained to detect and apprehend waterborne attackers could be sent on a mission to patrol a military base in Washington state, the U.S. Navy said Monday.” Perhaps even more startling for those not familiar with the dolphin crisis America faces, the article reveals that the Navy has been training dolphins since the 1960s as a coastal vanguard against would-be attackers. In fact, dolphins have even been used in the so-called “war on terror” to detect underwater mines in the Iraqi harbor of Umm Qasr in 2003. So the question looms, why are dolphins such a threat?

The Pro-Dolphin Agenda

For some, the usage of dolphins in national defense seems like a logical idea. They’re naturally adept at using ecolocation as a form of navigating their underwater habitat up to around 60 degrees Fahrenheit, they’re not as noticable or as suspect as a geared swimmer, and they don’t count as casualties.

Unfortunately, this line of thinking fails to take into account what I’ve dubbed the “pro-dolphin agenda.” Sure, dolphins may seem harmless, perhaps even ‘cute’ by some human standards, but that’s exactly what they want. Their ability to seem innocent makes them dramatically different than most other large aquatic creatures. Even whales have a threatening element, but not dolphins. People are so willing to embrace them that they forget about what dolphins are really after: power.

The Protocols of the Elders of Delphim

The first and most important point to acknowledge is that dolphins are one of the smartest creatures on the planet. While their intelligence doesn’t rival humans, dolphins are capable of recognizing themselves in mirrors and understanding symbol-based communication systems. Their encephalization quotient (EQ), which measures the ratio between brain to body mass, is roughly 2.5, while humans hover around 7.¹

With that in mind, one must begin to think like a dolphin in order to understand how they think, and thus, how they plan to eventually overtake human civilization and replace it with their own. One of the foremost experts on dolphins went by the name of John Cunningham Lilly, a famous American psychoanalyst (or ‘psychoactualist’) whose experiments with dolphins in conjunction with LSD (both on himself as well as dolphins) in the early to mid 1960s inexorably altered the field of dolphin studies. Through a series of highly scientific tests involving isolation tanks, hallucinogenic drugs and dolphins, Lilly pioneered the attempt to create interspecies communication between humans and dolphins, eventually publishing a book that’s a mix between science and new age mysticism entitled, Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer: Theory and Experiments and The Centre of the Cyclone, which describes, amongst other things, his experience with dolphins. In fact, Lilly went so far as to envision a world in which floating communications laboratory existed where humans and dolphins could “chat as equals” and “find a common language.” He envisioned a time when all killing of whales and dolphins would cease, “not from a law being passed, but from each human understanding innately that these are ancient, sentient earth residents, with tremendous intelligence and enormous life force. Not someone to kill, but someone to learn from.”²

Lilly was eventually discredited as a drug-addled pseudo-scientist whose research was the by-product of intense LSD usage. Thus, we can see him more as a tragic figure, destroyed by the very creatures he attempted to understand, and I’ll get to that in a minute. Lilly’s misguided hope of creating a world where humans and dolphins peacefully coexist wasn’t destroyed by human efforts to eradicate dolphins through systematic netting operations that were sold to the public as mere “fishing,” but instead something far more insidious, which I posit to be the reason why Lilly was eventually driven insane.

The Delphinic Zoophile

Ever since the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, humans and dolphins have had an unsettling relationship. For instance, the government of Myanmar has passed protective legislation for dolphins, as they help to herd fish into nets³. But why? Well, for one, fish are a paraphyletic group, meaning that “any clade containing all fish also contains the tetrapods,” hence why no strict “Class Pisces” exists in modern day biological taxonomy. The other reason is that dolphins receive certain “rewards” for their good behavior.

In 1996, Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn published a manifesto known as “Sex with Dolphins - “How To”, and a Personal Viewpoint…” on his website, dolphinsex.org. The website was shut down by the forces of the Internet (a.k.a. those interested in furthering the pro-dolphin agenda, a.k.a. the United States government and various clandestine pro-dolphin groups), but a mirror can be found by clicking here. Before viewing the website, or the below text, it’s important to note that this website is not a joke, that is why this issue is so serious and troubling. It’s probably best if I simply quote passages from the text:

When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him… The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death…You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

For mating with female dolphins, the process is far more bizarre.

Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

In relation to how to seek out a dolphin relationship, Mr. Dolphinn recommends that those with a serious interest in pursuing that type of bond should find a beach or a cove that is frequented by dolphins and develop a relationship with a dolphin until they’re ready to mate with you. It’s not a brothel, but similar to how human relationships are formed, making it all the more subversive.

I suppose what I am suggesting is that in the midst of research, Dr. Lilly became romantically linked to not just one, but numerous dolphins. Perhaps entire schools, or shoals, or whatever jargon you want to use. Once romantically linked, Dr. Lilly’s research suddenly became inundated not with scientific research on cetacean intelligence, but the formation of human-dolphin social relationships. The dolphins manipulated Dr. Lilly into supporting the pro-dolphin agenda, which I have suggested is rooted in power politics. The key to this is, of course, the creation of the Human-Dolphin hybrid.

Human-Dolphin hybridization

According to Richard Butler, the UFOs that dominate popular culture are actually descendants of cetaceans. Moreover, following the same agenda I was talking about, Butler elaborates on the origins, mythology, and future of the hybridization:

The Greys are reportedly engaged in human/grey hybrid experiments. This is reportedly to combine the genetic material of both species into a hybrid species. Is this possible? Japan and several other countries are working even now on inter-species hybridizations. If I am correct that the Greys are of dolphin descent, then the possibility of successful hybridization becomes much greater. Some believe that on Earth, man shared a common genetic ancestor with the dolphin. Up to a certain point in development, human and dolphin fetuses are nearly identical. In the not too distant future it will be possible to produce a hybrid human/dolphin species. I contend that the Greys have already beaten us to it.

In addition, Mr. Butler claims that “certain mythologies hold that some of the Gods came from a world of water. It is now thought by some that these beings genetically altered the existing prehumans on Earth.” As an example of the interconnectedness between ancient human culture and dolphins, Mr. Butler points to the very temple of Delphi, named after the sea Goddess. In fact, even the word “delphos,” which is the ancient derivative for the modern day word “dolphin,” means “womb.”

Now, I don’t know about UFOs, but what I do know is that the more research one does on the subject, the more I am reminded about why I hate dolphins. Thus, we must stop using them in our Navies. We must stop giving them the ability to initiate a coup when our heads are turned—when we least expect it. The dolphins are there and waiting, and we’re arming them, both by creating human-dolphin alliances that merely help to serve the pro-dolphin agenda by increasing the EQ of dolphins, as well as unknowingly sponsoring the inevitable creation of the human-dolphin hybrid, which is the first and most deadliest step towards the fall of the human race and the rise of the Delphim.

1. “Dolphin, Human Brain Size Not So Different” (Discovery) ↩
2. Unsourced Wikipedia material, but undoubtedly true ↩
3. Site Of Human-dolphin Partnership Becomes Protected Area (Science Daily) ↩